Keeping Books Under Control

I love books and am thrilled that my son does too. We spend a lot of time reading, and he has his preferences that change from week to week. Some of the illustrations and pop-ups are truly works of art. The problem is that I want to keep the quantity contained to what fits on his shelves, and we have two languages worth of books to manage. Right now the shelves are filled, so each new book means weeding out the old.

Here are reasons I may weed out a book: 

•  Grammar errors (one book had an unacceptable lay/lie error) 
•  Unappealing art 
•  Questionable messages (e.g. showing people as stereotypes) 
•  Too young (he is only 15 months old and is already growing out of books) 
•  Too old (he is only 15 months old and isn’t really into books that are too wordy, aren’t board books, or aren’t pop-ups) 
• Wrong season (Christmas books got packed up with our Christmas decorations) 
•  Duplicate theme (we don’t need three books by the same publisher with similar photos of farm animals—he’s enjoyed them all, but no more room!) 
•  Poor condition

However, some books get a save and end up on our family bookshelf in the living room. Here are some reasons I might store a book on these shelves that are also tight on space: 

•  It is really a beautiful, classic book that I’d like to share with young guests 
•  It is an appealing book in French that he may enjoy in a few years (French books are harder to find and more expensive)

Knowing that I need to remove books when new ones comes in curbs my impulse book buying. Plus, there's always the library!

Bed Time

A friend gave us good advice before our baby was born--make sure you like your bedroom. She was right. With nursing and occasional co-sleeping, we spent a lot of time awake in our room the first year. We still spend a fair amount of time awake.

Paint it, rearrange it, get rid of things that are clutter. Splurge on new sheets and bedding. A fresh room and a cozy bed makes being awake at odd hours more liveable, and it facilitates falling back to sleep after a sleep cycle has been disrupted. I can't control when my son wakes, but I can at least control my environment!

Speaking of, and I know I am jinxing this, but...last night he slept from 8pm to 7am. And the night before from 8pm to 5am. New year's resolution #1 achieved!

Packing Tips

I love to pack as minimally as possible and don't mind underpacking or stress about accidentally leaving some things behind if I know that I can purchase them at my destination. However, there is no good way to pack minimally with a wee one.

They have so much bulky equipment--cribs, bouncers, high chairs, strollers, car seats. They go through stacks of diapers and wipes. They can't wear their clothes more than once between washings. How one pares down to the essentials for a vacation really depends on your tolerance for lugging things around versus your desire for convenience and familiarity when you are at your destination. It also depends on how long you plan to stay, how you will get there, and how you will get around.

The key thing is balancing familiar with new, comforting with stimulating. With each baby this will be different.

We manage to get his things in one very small suitcase and in one diaper bag. If we're traveling by car, we will throw in the high chair since it breaks down so easily. This is what we find helpful:

• Familiar snacks that aren't messy (e.g. dry cereal, crackers, fruit pouches)
• One set of utensils and a bib that can be wiped
• Whatever is needed for drinking
• Three small, open-ended toys (e.g. something from the bath, a little lovie, and a little car). Too many toys take up space and are easy to lose. The new environment and you are the entertainment on vacation.
• A favorite book
• A whole pack of diapers and wipes so that you don't have to buy them right away. When you travel back, there will be that empty space in the case for souvenirs.
• A couple muslin blankets, good for sleeping, nursing in public, peekaboo, putting non-mobile babies down on the floor or grass, and wiping up drool when nothing else is in reach
• Clothes for every day, PJs, plus a couple emergency outfits that could work as PJs or day clothes
• Bath soap, pain relief for teething, nail clippers, and cream

Travels with Tots

My husband is from France, and I am from a city that is 400 miles away from where we live. Family is important to both of us, so we’ve already logged some major travel time. I love the packing and planning that precedes vacation and I look forward to the increased activity that comes with being in a new environment. I even used to look forward to the actual travel time, the calm between the flurry of packing and the hurry of arrival.

With a child, travel still has its joys, but oh how things have changed. On a twelve-hour flight to France when our son was six months old, I didn’t watch a single movie or read a book. What used to be a six-hour drive to see my family is now an eight-hour one. I once read every sign at museums and contemplated every work of art; I now study the museum's offerings beforehand and pick out a few things that I want to see. No longer do we leave in the morning with our packs and return at the end of the day exhausted; instead, we aim to get back to home base in the middle of each day for either a nap or quiet time. This is necessary for all of us because vacation no longer means sleeping in.

We are still learning about what works, but we have found that travel with our little guy works best when we are able to strike a balance between familiar and new. We also are mindful of selecting a few meaningful activities rather than committing to a bunch of "must-do" activities. And whether traveling or at home, it is good to know everyone's limits. A happy two hours in a museum is better than experiencing a tantrum in the fourth hour and needing to rush back to home base with a cranky, hungry, bored, or exhausted family member.

Diapers

On Wednesday morning I realized that our son needed diaper wipes at school, so I brought our only pack, leaving us none at home. Everything was closed on Thanksgiving, and I certainly wasn't going anywhere near Target on Black Friday. Luckily, we have cloth wipes and diapers that we use in combination with disposables, so we are never really "out" of diapers or wipes.

In general, we use cloth diapers during the day and paper ones at night, during vacations, and in our to-go diaper bag. At school, he uses cloth diapers but disposable wipes. As with everything parenting related, it is good to start out idealistic but be flexible for those times when you need to go down the easiest path.

We use Bum Genius diapers and like those. They have a snap system, so it is one size fits all. They are a pricey investment, though. For wipes, we use Baby Kicks organic cotton-hemp blend and a little squirt bottle. Those are amazing and never stain! They are also soft for wiping noses. It is good to start out with between 20-25 of each. Some people install an attachment to their toilet to rinse out the diapers, but we didn't do that, and nothing bad has happened to us or the diapers or our machine. We simply shake out anything solid into the toilet and then wash all of the diapers and wipes in one load every two or three days. It's really not as gross as I expected it would be.

Disposable diapers are expensive and so wasteful. Cloth diapers are expensive initially and take more time to deal with. Neither is perfect. I took a post-natal yoga class where one mom was already potty-training her 3 month old. Who knows how that worked for her; for most of us, we have to figure out how to deal with diapering for about two years.

Highchairs

During the festive season, it is common for us to eat meals out of the home. Our son would love to always dine while sitting on my lap, but I would not love the mess. When we went to my mom's house for Thanksgiving, we brought our highchair with us. When we ate dinner at our friends' house this evening, we used their highchair, which happens to be the same as ours--the $25 Ikea Antilop chair. I have seen highchairs as expensive as $650, but this Ikea one does the job beautifully.

First we had a Chicco chair that my mom found at the Goodwill. It was huge, and the seat was padded. Our little guy was tiny and frightened to sit in it, and it was a cleaning nightmare. The Ikea chair that we use now has a super simple design with a small footprint, it is easy to move around, and--most importantly--is a breeze to wipe clean.

Here are some things to consider when shopping for a highchair:

• It must be easy to clean--padding is not easy to clean, and it can get disgusting. Babies do not need padding on their bums to eat. They are already wearing diapers. They do not need padding on their backs because they should be sitting up anyway, not leaning back.
• It should be easy to disassemble so you can take it with you, if so desired.
• It should fit your child. Most babies are ready to sit up and eat when they are about 6 months. If they can't sit up without support, they aren't ready to eat solids or go in a highchair. Wait until the baby needs the chair; it is easy to overestimate how big a 6 month old is.
• It should be light enough to move around or have wheels. The highchair we have is so easy to move that it also serves as a push toy that our son enjoys moving from the kitchen to the dining room.
• It should fit the space where it will live for about 2 years. 

We are happy with our highchair and the money we saved could be spent on bibs, spoons, and sippy cups.

Breakfast Dates

We are crazy about our little guy, but sometimes he drives us crazy, particularly during breakfast when we are still recovering from waking up a few times the night before. I have a suspicion that any positive effects of caffeine are counteracted if the cup of coffee is consumed while wrangling a toddler whose shrill shrieks of delight reverberate in our eardrums. Goodbye to calm mornings when we read our newspaper "tranquillement" and chat about what we plan to do that day.

We are luckier than most because grandma lives close enough to babysit when we go out in the evenings. Even if we don't get a chance to go out on an evening date very often, we have gotten into the habit of having morning dates.

Once a week we drop our son off at school about 20 minutes earlier than usual (that 20 minutes is saved by not having to make coffee or sit down and eat breakfast at home) and we go to our favorite bakery. We enjoy eating our scones and brioches without a little hand sneaking in to grab what's on the plate or kicking to get let down. And, providing further evidence to support my theory, on those date mornings I never need a second cup of coffee at work.

Bath Time

We used to bathe our son every other day, but he loves it so much that it's become a part of our nightly bedtime routine. It is also a great way for papa to spend some quality time with him between dinner and sleep. However, all of the accoutrements for baby bath time can take up a lot of room in a room that isn't a lot. We keep things to a minimum since our bathroom is small and has awkward storage.

For the first 6 months or so, we used a special bathtub. It worked out great when he was tiny, and it came with a little sling hammock for him to rest on when he was newborn. It was also useful when he had an abscess in a sensitive region and needed a bath every time he went to the bathroom. Once he was sitting up on his own, we just put him directly in the bathtub with about 2 inches of water. Now we have this tub taking up space.

Toys make bath time more fun! But too many can take up space and make the bathroom full of trip hazards. We got these stacking cups as a shower gift and he has played with them every day for the past 9 months. They take up very little space. He also plays with a small tub turtle that we found on the sidewalk when I was 8 months pregnant. It was destiny--this little turtle is one of his favorite toys, and it has even traveled to France. Other bath toys include one obligatory yellow ducky and a random plastic dog that our son brought into the bathroom a while ago and has since made the tub its home.

Aden + Anais makes soft yet durable muslin baby washcloths. Again, we've used these nightly for a year, and they have held up well. As for those special baby towels with hoods and cute designs? Save your money and linen closet space for more Aden + Anais washcloths. The baby towels we had ended up being scratchy, and it's not like the baby spends more than two minutes bundled in one. Now we simply use the same soft towels that we use for ourselves.

Bath time can be a great opportunity to bond with baby while getting him clean. He can also splash around, practice pouring skills, and learn about the science of water. A couple small toys, stacking cups, some soft washcloths, and special baby soap are all you need to have good clean fun!

Easy Meals

I love to cook, but sometimes I don't have the energy or time or two hands to chop, saute, and assemble. Now that our 1-year-old is eating what we eat, I also have to make sure that it is manageable for him to self-feed as finger food and that there are enough fat and nutrients. Here are some easy meals that we all like:

• Ready made tamales from the fresh food section
• Tubetti pasta, Brussels sprouts, and ground hazelnuts
• Boxed butternut squash soup with cheesy toast
• French fingerling potatoes with raclette cheese or with tapenade (blended olives, olive oil and garlic)
• Angel hair pasta, frozen peas, and crumbled hard boiled eggs
• Black rice, tofu, and Thai peanut sauce

Basics to have on hand: variety of pasta shapes, boxed soups, hazelnuts, olive oil, cans of olives, variety of interesting cheeses, frozen peas and Brussels sprouts, eggs, tamales, dried black beans, black rice, tofu

Good On-line Resources for Nursing Moms

Have a question about nursing in the middle of the night and can't ask a friend? Need to know how to get ready to go back to work and continue breastfeeding? Ready to wean and have no idea how to get your one-year-old to sleep at night without mama time? Doing a web search often leads one to fluff articles and comment boards full of panic and devoid of fact. When you need an answer to pressing questions, these are good resources to have bookmarked.

http://kellymom.com/
This detailed site is filled with clear answers about nursing and nutrition. It also links to research and other informative articles and has good advice for teaching "breastfeeding manners" and for figuring out how much milk you need to express for the workday.

http://www.llli.org/
La Leche League International is the main source for information and advocacy about breastfeeding. The site has a lot of information--maybe even too much for the way it is organized. But they have it all--answers for nursing moms about housework, traveling, and working.

Kaiser Permanente
Since this is my health care provider, this is my go-to place for most health questions. It sometimes gives too obvious information for my taste--the breastfeeding section starts off with the question "What is breastfeeding?"

Back to Work Tips

A coworker recently came back to the office after a 4-month maternity leave. Going back to work after being warm and cuddly for a few weeks or months can be like an icy splash of water in the face. Wake up to reality! I have to wake up and be presentable at what time?

Things that might be helpful:

Choose a single cute photo for your computer wallpaper. That way you can get accidental glimpses throughout the day and when people ask about your baby, you can show them that one photo instead of being tempted to go through the entire camera roll on your phone. I changed mine weekly, and it gave me a little activity to do while drinking coffee on Wednesdays.

If you are still nursing, good for you! Be sure to always have a scarf or cardigan or sweater with you. Let down does happen when you don’t want it to, and it is good to have some assurance that you can be covered.

If you can’t have clothes you love, like the ones you have. Your body has changed a lot in the past year. You might weigh more, less, or the same, but no doubt you are not the same shape, and fashions have changed since you became pregnant. Splurge on a new outfit, go to a consignment shop, or figure out from what you have which outfits fit and flatter. You will surely go to work one day with bananas in your hair and jeans that don’t quite fit, but treat going back to work like your first week of school and feel good in your clothes.

Make sure you trust your childcare provider and that the baby does too. It is a bummer to be back at work, but missing your baby is normal and healthy; being worried all day about your baby’s safety is not.

Start slowly. Maybe get a haircut and go clothes shopping half Monday with your baby in the new childcare setting, then work half day Tuesday and start for reals on Wednesday. Think about how you want to ideally end your maternity leave, and work it out with your boss. You can’t get it if you don’t ask.

Lastly, think of the positive aspects of going back to work. You can go to the bathroom whenever you want! You can talk to people about non-baby things! You can remember that you had other skills before learning how to diaper, nurse, and clip invisible fingernails. Meanwhile, your baby has an opportunity to bond with and trust another loving person.