Goodbye Box

In January we bought a duvet for our bed. It came in the mail in a big box. Can you guess what happened with the box?

Yes, it has been in our son's room for over a month! He likes to hide in there with a pillow. He likes to drive little cars on top of it, vroom vroom. He likes to perch his stuffed cat on it. Our friends' two children piled in there with our son, and the three of them giggled in the box. One night my husband managed to tuck himself into it and surprised us with a big peek-a-boo; hilarity ensued, bedtime was delayed. The box has been great.

But it was not designed for months of play in a toddler's rough and tumble world. We will soon dismantle it for Friday recycling. I really enjoy toys like these because they are free, encourage open-ended play, and when they wear out they can be gotten rid of guilt free.

Walking in Mud

Today we went to a nearby beach that turns into mud flats during low tide. We took off our shoes and walked in. Squish, squish, squish between our toes slid the mud. The water never got more than a couple of inches, and it had been warmed by the midday sun. It was gross but delightful. Our son bothered birds and squatted down to whirl the water with his hands, making strings of goldenrod algae dance. We squished back to the dry sand where my husband was still clean and reading the newspaper. Go in, I convinced him. It will be the most fun you've had this year, I promised. Fifteen minutes later we three were covered in sand and mud. It was the most fun we'd had this year.

What We Love at 16 Months

It's Valentines Day, a good day to reflect on who and what we love.

• Family, friends, and teachers!
• Our local library--books, play area, and occasional live music and puppet shows
• Sampling ice cream and fruit at the farmers market
• Goodnight Gorilla
• Animal crackers, raisins, ice cream, hummus, beans, tamales
• 5 o'clock bottle
• Anything with wheels
• Anything that goes woof woof, meow, caw caw or quack quack
• Dancing and wiggling
• Giving kisses, cuddles, and hugs
• Playing outside in the sandbox, on ride toys, with a ball
• Hiding in a big cardboard box that our duvet was sent in
• Telling funny stories and cracking ourselves up
• Pretending things are hats, including mushrooms
• Bath time

Halfway to Spring

February 2nd marked the halfway point between winter and spring. Whether or not the groundhog saw his shadow, we still have six weeks of winter left. In France and in our home, the day is celebrated with crepes and candles and cidre. I like the idea of a special day to eat crepes in candlelight, particularly since we are in a rather drab season.

Where we live, we miss the typical signs of winter--we don't get snow, at least a few flowers are in bloom at any given time, and the ducks in our neighborhood lagoon are still quacking away rather than going south. Instead, our winters are marked by fewer stands at the farmers market, no avocados, and dark and chilly evenings. Our son has also noticed that the fat spider who lived on our front porch through fall has quietly disappeared, web and all. Every evening we check the mail, and he points up at her now empty corner.

With winter half over, our Chandeleur celebration reminds us to appreciate what is special about the remaining season. It is a cozy time, when we can light fires in the chimney, cuddle under layers of blankets, and look at the stars and moon before it is even bedtime. It also reminds us to look for signs of spring. We can walk home from my son's school in the evening before the sun sets. Our pear tree has one branch in bloom. At the farmers market, the flower stand has made a return with butter-yellow tulips and fuchsia anemones. Suddenly, a drab season has become more interesting.

Co-Sleeping

We are part-time co-sleepers. Or should it be half-of-the-time sleepers? Our son starts every night in his own crib, but in the middle of the night he usually wakes up, and he usually ends up spending the rest of the night nestled between us.

I think more people co-sleep than admit it. It starts innocently, when they are newborns and you cannot take your eyes off of them. How can something be so cute, you wonder. Or maybe you both fall asleep in the middle of the night nursing. The next thing you know, you wake up at 4 in the morning and have a toddler practicing his clapping skills and whispering "nigh nigh, nigh nigh."

I won't go over the benefits and challenges of co-sleeping. It is one of those things that you either fall into or avoid, and there is probably no going back either way.

If you are co-sleeping, you probably are tired right now and need a laugh. These instructional drawings on How to Be a Dad are so funny, so true. Our favorites are Snow Angel, H is for Hell, and Jazz Hands.

Traditions Made New Every Year

Every year for the past seven years we have had a king cake party, where we serve a galette des rois. The big almond-filled pastry is served in France at the beginning of January, and whoever bites into a piece with the ceramic "bean" (usually a porcelain tile) gets to wear the crown. Of course, ours is Berkeleyized, with homemade galettes--one was vegan of course--and gaudily decorated crowns. It is a fun way to incorporate a French tradition into our lives while visiting with friends who have usually been away for the holidays.

Seven years ago, none of our friends had children. Now we are hosting parties with almost ten children all under the age of five. I think it is common for people to experience an epiphany when they see their house full of kids and think, "Wow, my life has officially changed. My parties are now menageries." We went through only one bottle of wine for a house full of people. People actually drank the juice. There were kids playing puzzles in the living room, others playing on the mini-piano in the dining room, another riding a rocking horse. Our son wandered from room to room, smiling and waving his hand around. He had an air about him that exuded, "Welcome to my castle. Feel free to touch things."

Our son only had a nibble of the galette, but he loved the social aspect of the party. Even though he's recovering from being cranky sick all week, he kept it together and was meltdown free. It reminded me that as we share this tradition with our son, we are also teaching him about hosting people in his space, sharing his things, and being socially pleasant even when he is not in a good mood. And so our tradition will continue, menagerie and all.

Best of 2012

Here are some fond memories as a parent in 2012:

• Our first wine tasting post-baby in Monterey, with our son in the front pack
• Weekend family naps
• Visiting the Orangerie at night, with Debussy playing in the background. We three walked back to the Metro with the Eiffel Tower framed by orange and purple clouds in the setting sun.
• Lying in bed in Paris with our little guy snoozing in between us, windows open and listening to a warm rain on the streets
• Visiting the Menagerie zoo and then finishing up our illegal picnic on the grass moments before the police came to shoo us away
• Traintown in Sonoma, where we blew bubbles, rode on a merry-go-round, and our little guy's foot got licked by a goat
• Family gatherings throughout the year
• Walking back from an evening “bring your baby to the movies” event, and seeing the fog rolling through the hills
• Butterflies and baby ostriches at the Academy of Sciences
• Seeing our usually light-eating son chowing down on his birthday cake
• Drinking champagne and eating ice cream cake to celebrate one year of being parents

 2012 was the year that our son went from being a little baby who couldn’t roll over or sit up to being a toddler who chats, gives kisses, plays peekaboo, walks, hugs, eats and brings us toys. I can’t wait to see what the next year brings. Fingers crossed that “sleeping through the night” will be on the list.

Christmas Gifts

Last year we didn't get any gifts for our then 2-month-old. He received plenty from grandparents, aunts, and uncles. And really, at that age, the gifts were for us. Who appreciates first Christmas ornaments and cute pajamas more than the parents?

This year, we've got a toddler, and even though he still doesn't know what Christmas is, we are thinking about building traditions that will last a lifetime. I would like Christmas gifts to be thoughtful and useful rather than stuff stuff stuff. I would like Christmas to be about joy, anticipation, and appreciation. I would like Christmas to ride the wave of gratitude that we get on Thanksgiving.

For fostering anticipation and appreciation, go to this post at the Frugal Girl blog. She suggests something she calls "strategic deprivation." Basically, meet the child's needs, but don't give them extras year round and then expect them to appreciate what they get for Christmas. Because being a good model is the best way to teach children positive behavior, I have also been practicing this for myself. About a month ago I ran out of the perfume I wear every day; instead of buying some for myself right away, I've done without and asked my husband for it for Christmas. This grants more meaning to something that is, after all, an extra. So, between our October birthdays and Christmas, no new extras unless they go under the tree!

We gave the topic some thought, and we've come up with this Christmas list for our little one: one very special pop-up book, a pair of pajamas, a warm hooded sweater, and dump truck that I know he will love. We'll see if we can maintain these categories for years to come: a special book, pajamas, something of good quality to wear, and a toy that he really really wants.

I am Thankful for My Little Family

Life is certainly not easier with a child. Or cleaner. Or cheaper. Or quieter. But it is great.

I am thankful for these moments of happiness: Hearing my son talking to himself in the morning when he wakes up; seeing his little head bob from side to side to music; listening in on the laughter that he and my husband share during bath time; watching him walking around while waving toys in his hand, jabbering dadada. I love it when he puts his arms up for me to hold him, then he puts his head on my shoulder and says "aw." I love it when he tries to feed me Cheerios and then cracks up when I actually eat one. I love it when he toddles with his push toy, delivering the newspaper from the front of the house to the kitchen in his little pajamas.

When my husband comes home from work, he rings his bike bell, and my son gets so excited that he kicks his little feet and looks toward the back door, whispering "papa, papa, papa." I know how he feels, because nothing is better than the three of us together. I feel lucky to have gotten the son that I have and to have discovered the dad that my husband is, and I'm so thankful for the little family we have created.

First Birthday

It has already been over a month since our son's birthday! First birthdays are a big deal for parents; it marks one year of being parents and it is a year of transformation for all. Because of this, it is easy to go overboard on a party that the baby certainly won't remember.

We had a couple of mini-parties. At his school, I brought a "baby cake" with no sugar, eggs or dairy and covered it with puffs. Each child got a bib and then dug in. Another mom had done this a couple of weeks prior, and I thought it was such a great idea that I copied it. Why improve on something sweet and simple that already worked? Plus, the teachers said that my son had gone cookie-monster crazy over the other kid's cake. Second time around, and it was again a success!

The next day we had a close friends and family party with a decorate-your-own-muffin table. We had three types of muffins (vegan chocolate, blueberry, and zucchini banana), two frostings, and three toppings (mini chocolate chips, rainbow sprinkles, and puffs). People could decorate and eat their muffins whenever without having to wait for the birthday boy to blow out the candle and eat his. Because the guests--which included about 6 children under 5--didn't have to wait to eat the muffins, no one got impatient. It was a lovely day surrounded by people we love and our son was thrilled with it all.

Here is the recipe for the healthy first birthday cake, adapted from Homemade Baby Food Recipes. Note, this cake is not super tasty for adults except for when it's fresh out of the oven.

Applesauce Banana Cake, serves more than enough hungry babies

2 cups flour (wheat or all-purpose)
1 T wheat germ
1+ t baking soda
1 t cinnamon
6 ripe bananas, mashed
1 c applesauce
1/4-1/2 c soy milk

1. Preheat oven to 325 degrees
2. Combine flour, wheat germ, baking soda and cinnamon in one bowl.
3. Combine bananas, applesauce, and 1/4 cup of soy milk in another bowl.
4. Pour the dry ingredients into the bowl of wet ingredients. If it is still dryish after mixing, add more soy milk. Batter will be very thick.
5. Pour batter into a 9x9 square or 9 inch round oiled pan and bake for 60-90 minutes. It will be finished when a knife inserted in the center comes out clean.

8 oz (2 cups) whole wheat flour
1 tbsp wheat germ
1 heaped tsp baking soda
1 tsp cinnamon (optional)
6 medium, ripe bananas - mashed
8 fl oz (1 cup) sugar-free applesauce
2-4 fl oz (1/4 to 1/2 cup) soy milk


Preheat the oven to 325 deg F (160 deg C).
In a bowl, combine the flour, wheat germ, baking soda and cinnamon.
In a separate bowl, combine the applesauce with the mashed bananas and 1/4 cup milk.
Pour the applesauce mixture into the bowl with the dry ingredients and mix thoroughly. If the mixture seems dry, you can add up to another 1/4 cup milk.
Pour into a greased 9" x 9" square or 9" round pan and bake for around 1 to 1 1/2 hours. The cake is ready when a sharp knife inserted into the middle comes out clean.

Read more: http://www.homemade-baby-food-recipes.com/healthy-first-birthday-cake-recipes.html#ixzz2CXzD8PsU

Read more: http://www.homemade-baby-food-recipes.com/healthy-first-birthday-cake-recipes.html#ixzz2CXzD8PsU

Breakfast Dates

We are crazy about our little guy, but sometimes he drives us crazy, particularly during breakfast when we are still recovering from waking up a few times the night before. I have a suspicion that any positive effects of caffeine are counteracted if the cup of coffee is consumed while wrangling a toddler whose shrill shrieks of delight reverberate in our eardrums. Goodbye to calm mornings when we read our newspaper "tranquillement" and chat about what we plan to do that day.

We are luckier than most because grandma lives close enough to babysit when we go out in the evenings. Even if we don't get a chance to go out on an evening date very often, we have gotten into the habit of having morning dates.

Once a week we drop our son off at school about 20 minutes earlier than usual (that 20 minutes is saved by not having to make coffee or sit down and eat breakfast at home) and we go to our favorite bakery. We enjoy eating our scones and brioches without a little hand sneaking in to grab what's on the plate or kicking to get let down. And, providing further evidence to support my theory, on those date mornings I never need a second cup of coffee at work.

Backyard Picnic

Today we had a spontaneous backyard picnic.

Mealtimes have not been so leisurely lately. We watch over our son to make sure he doesn't choke and that he eats enough food. He often eats a bit and then throws a lot of it on the floor. Then he complains about being in the high chair. When he is free to wander about, he squats down to pick up and eat what he has thrown on the floor. I know, I know--this is all setting him up for poor table time behavior, but we really want him to eat and we also want to eat in peace. Finally, we clean up the baby, wipe the tray, gather crumbs from seat, scrub the floor.

Today was an unseasonably warm November day, and the sun was perfectly shining on our backyard at lunchtime. We decided to bring out a big blanket and eat al fresco. What fun! The best part was that our son was already on the ground. He didn't have to protest the high chair, and I didn't have to feel guilty that I was letting him eat off of the blanket. It was the most he has eaten for lunch in a while, and we were all in jolly spirits. After lunch, there was no table, tray, seat, or floor to scrub. We just shook the crumbs off of the blanket and played in the grass.

Farmers Market

With very few exceptions, we go to the farmers market every Saturday. We started taking our son to the market when he was two weeks old!

The market is full of sensory stimulation for a baby. Today he tasted three types of Asian pears, a persimmon, locally made soy milk, and nectarine jam. He got to listen to a couple buskers. He smelled the kettlecorn popping. He grabbed a lime at the avocado vendors and--ahem--explored it with his mouth. Plus all of the colors--red dahlias and shiny bell peppers, bright orange persimmons, yellow squash, green kale and baby spinach, and purple carrots. When he was really little, I tickled his feet with the rubbery soft fresh carrot tops and he squealed with delight. Now that he is older, I give him whatever samples are available so that he can try as many tastes as possible.

Over the years we have gotten to know the vendors. We don't know each others names, but we are friendly and chat. This is a community that cares about local and seasonal food, and I love that our son has been exposed to it since he was a newborn.

Babies Don't Wear Watches

Babies don't wear watches, or at least mine doesn't. So the time change in our household has been more of a transition over days rather than something that happened at 2am Sunday morning.

Yesterday evening the sun was setting as we were strolling home from school. While I was rushing to get dinner together, my son was rubbing his eyes, whining, and resting his forehead on the floor. He fell asleep before dinner was even ready, and we didn't get a chance to cuddle or hang out all day. We usually have a couple of hours of reading and playing before the bedtime routine kicks in, so not having quality baby time was a bummer.

This morning when my son woke up earlier than he should have, I muffled my grumbles and seized my opportunity. We had a lovely time reading books together between breakfast and changing out of pajamas.  Routines are vital, but squeezing in spontaneous quality time injects joy into the day.