Our Nest is Losing its Fluff

As my baby's birthday is approaching, I can't help but think of how things were a year ago, and even in the weeks after his birth. Our house was clean. I was on maternity leave already, taking turns between knitting a hot air balloon with size 2 needles, reading novels, and cooking for the freezer. And yes, our freezer and pantry was filled with enough meals to last us for at least a month of low-effort cooking. It was nesting at its finest, and how easy things seemed. We are so organized, I thought smugly.


Now, even after cleaning, the house still feels messy. Instead of knitting, I find myself zoning out, playing games on my husband's phone while I nurse. I still read novels, but it takes about 6 weeks to finish one. Books on weaning and how to sleep the whole night through seem to have more urgency, yet they are also scattered about. We do manage to eat meals made from scratch, but they create more dirty dishes than we have time or energy to wash at the end of the day. It would be nice to grab something in the freezer on evenings when the baby needs more attention; currently there is only a box of chocolate croissants and a jar of beans. Our nest is losing its fluff.


With the one year milestone on Friday, I have taken the day off. I am resolved to get our nest in order so I can feel organized again. That way, I can let go on evenings when our active little guy wants me chasing him instead of chopping; I can relax on evenings when I'd rather lie on the couch with some wine and chocolate instead of feeling surrounded by unfinished business.