Being a Bilingual Household

Last Friday when the garbage truck was inching down the street, our son got excited. "Tuck! Tuck!" We went outside to watch it, and then he toddled to my husband to tell him what he missed. "Tuck! Tuck!"

My husband only speaks in French to our son, so when his response included the word "camion," the little guy got a little stompy. "No! Tuck!" And then he went into his room and pulled out two French books with trucks in them to show to papa. They had a discussion about how with mama it's "truck" and with papa it's "camion." I'm sure this was the first of many linguistic conflicts to come.

Before our son was born, I read The Bilingual Family by Edith Harding-Esch and Philip Riley. It was first published almost 30 years ago, when people were still unsure about the benefits of bilingualism, so the book presents a lot of success stories as case studies.

The Bilingual Family doesn't give a step-by-step guide on how to raise a bilingual child, and that is deliberate. Instead, it presents the stories, challenges, benefits, and outcomes of several bilingual families. The key points that I took from the book are:

• Start from birth
• Be consistent
• Find ways to enrich the environment with the non-dominant language
• Don't worry, it will all work out

The book was very encouraging, and I know that in the long run, the benefits of having a bilingual household will be worth the occasional stompy moment.

Temper Tantrums

When I arrived at my son's school today, he saw me and quietly did the following:

1. bonked himself on the head with his hand
2. whipped his head back
3. whipped his head forward
4. went on all fours
5. lowered his forehead to the floor
6. kicked his feet
7. looked in the mirror then looked at me

Maybe it's because he's still so little, or maybe it's because he pulls them off with such dramatic flair, and as if he were in a silent movie, but his temper tantrums make me stifle a chuckle.

The steps above have been his routine lately as a reaction for all sorts of wrongs and frustrations. I recently received a newsletter that had some good tips on how to handle tantrums. First, looking in the mirror and back at me is a key--he may be mildly frustrated or upset, but he essentially wants attention. To avoid reinforcing this behavior, we should remain calm and redirect him to something else if necessary. We should also determine whether what he wants is negotiable or non-negotiable. This evening, he had my phone and programmed some new numbers in it or called Australia or 9-1-1, I don't know. That is not negotiable. I took it away, and as he went through steps one through three and was about to go on all fours, I redirected his attention to one of his toys that makes noise and flashes lights. Tantrum averted.

Often, my drama king just wants something that I am already working on to happen faster, like when I'm walking over to hug him at school, when I'm making a bottle for him, or when I'm trying to figure out which book on the shelf he's waving his little finger at. In those cases, I stay calm and maybe even go a little more slowly. It's a good time for both of us to practice being patient.