Highchairs

During the festive season, it is common for us to eat meals out of the home. Our son would love to always dine while sitting on my lap, but I would not love the mess. When we went to my mom's house for Thanksgiving, we brought our highchair with us. When we ate dinner at our friends' house this evening, we used their highchair, which happens to be the same as ours--the $25 Ikea Antilop chair. I have seen highchairs as expensive as $650, but this Ikea one does the job beautifully.

First we had a Chicco chair that my mom found at the Goodwill. It was huge, and the seat was padded. Our little guy was tiny and frightened to sit in it, and it was a cleaning nightmare. The Ikea chair that we use now has a super simple design with a small footprint, it is easy to move around, and--most importantly--is a breeze to wipe clean.

Here are some things to consider when shopping for a highchair:

• It must be easy to clean--padding is not easy to clean, and it can get disgusting. Babies do not need padding on their bums to eat. They are already wearing diapers. They do not need padding on their backs because they should be sitting up anyway, not leaning back.
• It should be easy to disassemble so you can take it with you, if so desired.
• It should fit your child. Most babies are ready to sit up and eat when they are about 6 months. If they can't sit up without support, they aren't ready to eat solids or go in a highchair. Wait until the baby needs the chair; it is easy to overestimate how big a 6 month old is.
• It should be light enough to move around or have wheels. The highchair we have is so easy to move that it also serves as a push toy that our son enjoys moving from the kitchen to the dining room.
• It should fit the space where it will live for about 2 years. 

We are happy with our highchair and the money we saved could be spent on bibs, spoons, and sippy cups.

Interactive Books

Books that pop up, have flaps, or other fun things to touch are a good way to make reading time more interactive. They can also help teach concepts like "gentle" while developing object permanence and fine motor skills. Babies love them, parents love them!

Here are some interactive books that we have liked so far:

3-9 months

• My Little Sweetheart by Sara Gillingham
• Anything by Sara Gillingham and Lorena Siminovich--they have about a dozen books with built-in felt finger puppets
• Anything by DK Baby Touch and Feel--they have chunky books on every topic, from bunnies to tractors

6-12 months

• Dear Zoo by Rod Campbell--different flaps reveal various inappropriate pet options
• Pat the Bunny by Dorothy Kunhardt--this book is a classic for a reason!
• Little Black Book by Renee Khatami--lots to touch with velvet, scratch and sniff, whiskers

 9-12 + months

• Heads by Mathew Van Fleet--a very sturdy book with lovely pictures and fun pull-tabs
• Alphabugs or any book by David A. Carter--26 interactive pages!
• Gossip or any book by Jan Pienkowski--these pop-up books are super 3D

Nighttime Routine

Some babies have melt downs when they are tired. Ours powers through, getting more and more hyper until he crashes. He has gone an entire day without napping and was still in good spirits by bedtime. Because of this, and since we both work and don't get to see him all day, it was a while before we were motivated to put him to bed at an early as part of a fixed routine.

We had a nighttime routine when our son was a newborn, but we never updated it as his needs and our schedules changed. After a few months, there was very little routine at all. We would wait until he was obviously tired before I tried to nurse him to sleep. This meant that we often had a giddy baby on our hands who would crack himself up and not get settled down until 10pm. It was fun but exhausting. We needed a routine!

This is what a typical evening looks like, give or take a half hour start time:

6:30 dinner
6:50 bath/clean up after dinner
7:00 pajamas on and read some books with a very dim lamp
7:10 nurse while playing music--we listen to Peter and the Wolf or the Carnival des Animaux
7:30 sleeping baby

The day of this photo, he didn't even take a nap.

We do keep flexible, but this is a framework. If we are out later than usual as a family, we might skip bath or books when we get back. If I cannot get dinner ready by 6:30, I'll give him a separate dinner while I'm cooking. Sooner rather than later we'll have to replace the nursing with cuddling, but this is much more functional than what we were doing. The trick is to start the routine before he goes beyond sleepy and into silly hilarity.

Our Nest is Losing its Fluff

As my baby's birthday is approaching, I can't help but think of how things were a year ago, and even in the weeks after his birth. Our house was clean. I was on maternity leave already, taking turns between knitting a hot air balloon with size 2 needles, reading novels, and cooking for the freezer. And yes, our freezer and pantry was filled with enough meals to last us for at least a month of low-effort cooking. It was nesting at its finest, and how easy things seemed. We are so organized, I thought smugly.


Now, even after cleaning, the house still feels messy. Instead of knitting, I find myself zoning out, playing games on my husband's phone while I nurse. I still read novels, but it takes about 6 weeks to finish one. Books on weaning and how to sleep the whole night through seem to have more urgency, yet they are also scattered about. We do manage to eat meals made from scratch, but they create more dirty dishes than we have time or energy to wash at the end of the day. It would be nice to grab something in the freezer on evenings when the baby needs more attention; currently there is only a box of chocolate croissants and a jar of beans. Our nest is losing its fluff.


With the one year milestone on Friday, I have taken the day off. I am resolved to get our nest in order so I can feel organized again. That way, I can let go on evenings when our active little guy wants me chasing him instead of chopping; I can relax on evenings when I'd rather lie on the couch with some wine and chocolate instead of feeling surrounded by unfinished business.

Pumpkin Patches

Today we went to the pumpkin patches up in Petaluma, as we do every year. But this year we had our little guy who got to explore farm life. We got him his first pair of shoes, and then he walked among the pumpkins, stopping from time to time to thump one like a drum. There were green ones, bright orange ones, pale and delicate ones, and even dappled ones. He also got to see newborn calves and mini-donkeys with long fuzzy ears.


It is such a treat to leave the city and see the countryside. For babies, getting to actually touch, see, and smell a farm is a great experience since so many board books feature farm animals.

Now we have four pumpkins of various sizes, shapes, and colors adorning our dining room table.

For those in the Bay Area, here are some north bay pumpkin patches:
http://www.farmtrails.org/find-farms-products/find-farms-by-products/#P

The site is tricky to navigate, but it includes other farm outings like apple picking.

The Very Busy Spider

Orb spiders are weaving their webs around our yard, setting up sticky nets with silver dollar sized arachnids to avoid. My son has been interested in spider watching, so a good thematic book for the season is EricCarle’s The Very Busy Spider.

The Very Busy Spider builds upon a common board book schema of introducing various farm animals and their sounds. Added to this is a story about a spider who cannot play with a line-up of barnyard friends because she is too busy quietly building her web. This industrious protagonist ultimately (spoiler alert! ) reaches her goal, catches a pesky fly, and rests peacefully after a job well done.

Like many other Carle books, this one stands out because of its tactile engagement—the spider web and fly wings are raised. However, the third dimension is subtle; even though I model rubbing the page, my son still has not copied me. He does enjoy and respond to the art and the animal sounds that I make. But given our current eight-legged neighbors, the book’s biggest draw is the intriguing big spider on every page, weaving her web a few silk strings at a time.

Seasons Change

The Japanese maples and municipal trees that line our neighborhood streets are changing colors. All seasons are a time of change, but fall seems especially so. Sometimes a wistful feeling blows with the wind. Dry leaves scatter, orb spiders set up their morbid webs, and summer is ushered out in increasingly vivid sunsets.

Change is on my mind lately—today was the first day I did not go to my son’s school to nurse him. Our first big goodbye was when I returned to work. That was preceded by minor goodbyes—our first date away from him, my first quick coffee or lunch with a friend; it will be followed by other goodbyes and firsts—first sleep over, first weekend away. All of these farewell milestones build up to bigger ones—traveling without us, moving out, going to college.

Instead of feeling wistful, though, I am trying to think of how exciting it is that he is becoming less dependent on me as we wean. Because we have a good foundation of complicity and secure attachment, he can trust that our goodbyes are not permanent, and I can trust that in the future when he moves on into adulthood, his goodbyes will not be permanent. Change cannot be stopped, but it is reassuring that we can rely on spring cycling back to us.

In the meantime, I celebrate having a free lunch hour. What to do with my time? Eat lunch with friends, read a book by myself in the sun, squeeze in some shopping, and ease back into a routine that is more balanced.