Best of 2012

Here are some fond memories as a parent in 2012:

• Our first wine tasting post-baby in Monterey, with our son in the front pack
• Weekend family naps
• Visiting the Orangerie at night, with Debussy playing in the background. We three walked back to the Metro with the Eiffel Tower framed by orange and purple clouds in the setting sun.
• Lying in bed in Paris with our little guy snoozing in between us, windows open and listening to a warm rain on the streets
• Visiting the Menagerie zoo and then finishing up our illegal picnic on the grass moments before the police came to shoo us away
• Traintown in Sonoma, where we blew bubbles, rode on a merry-go-round, and our little guy's foot got licked by a goat
• Family gatherings throughout the year
• Walking back from an evening “bring your baby to the movies” event, and seeing the fog rolling through the hills
• Butterflies and baby ostriches at the Academy of Sciences
• Seeing our usually light-eating son chowing down on his birthday cake
• Drinking champagne and eating ice cream cake to celebrate one year of being parents

 2012 was the year that our son went from being a little baby who couldn’t roll over or sit up to being a toddler who chats, gives kisses, plays peekaboo, walks, hugs, eats and brings us toys. I can’t wait to see what the next year brings. Fingers crossed that “sleeping through the night” will be on the list.

Packing Tips

I love to pack as minimally as possible and don't mind underpacking or stress about accidentally leaving some things behind if I know that I can purchase them at my destination. However, there is no good way to pack minimally with a wee one.

They have so much bulky equipment--cribs, bouncers, high chairs, strollers, car seats. They go through stacks of diapers and wipes. They can't wear their clothes more than once between washings. How one pares down to the essentials for a vacation really depends on your tolerance for lugging things around versus your desire for convenience and familiarity when you are at your destination. It also depends on how long you plan to stay, how you will get there, and how you will get around.

The key thing is balancing familiar with new, comforting with stimulating. With each baby this will be different.

We manage to get his things in one very small suitcase and in one diaper bag. If we're traveling by car, we will throw in the high chair since it breaks down so easily. This is what we find helpful:

• Familiar snacks that aren't messy (e.g. dry cereal, crackers, fruit pouches)
• One set of utensils and a bib that can be wiped
• Whatever is needed for drinking
• Three small, open-ended toys (e.g. something from the bath, a little lovie, and a little car). Too many toys take up space and are easy to lose. The new environment and you are the entertainment on vacation.
• A favorite book
• A whole pack of diapers and wipes so that you don't have to buy them right away. When you travel back, there will be that empty space in the case for souvenirs.
• A couple muslin blankets, good for sleeping, nursing in public, peekaboo, putting non-mobile babies down on the floor or grass, and wiping up drool when nothing else is in reach
• Clothes for every day, PJs, plus a couple emergency outfits that could work as PJs or day clothes
• Bath soap, pain relief for teething, nail clippers, and cream

Travels with Tots

My husband is from France, and I am from a city that is 400 miles away from where we live. Family is important to both of us, so we’ve already logged some major travel time. I love the packing and planning that precedes vacation and I look forward to the increased activity that comes with being in a new environment. I even used to look forward to the actual travel time, the calm between the flurry of packing and the hurry of arrival.

With a child, travel still has its joys, but oh how things have changed. On a twelve-hour flight to France when our son was six months old, I didn’t watch a single movie or read a book. What used to be a six-hour drive to see my family is now an eight-hour one. I once read every sign at museums and contemplated every work of art; I now study the museum's offerings beforehand and pick out a few things that I want to see. No longer do we leave in the morning with our packs and return at the end of the day exhausted; instead, we aim to get back to home base in the middle of each day for either a nap or quiet time. This is necessary for all of us because vacation no longer means sleeping in.

We are still learning about what works, but we have found that travel with our little guy works best when we are able to strike a balance between familiar and new. We also are mindful of selecting a few meaningful activities rather than committing to a bunch of "must-do" activities. And whether traveling or at home, it is good to know everyone's limits. A happy two hours in a museum is better than experiencing a tantrum in the fourth hour and needing to rush back to home base with a cranky, hungry, bored, or exhausted family member.

Christmas Grinch

A very tired little guy, opening gifts

Now that Christmas has come and gone, our son's room is strewn with toys that don't fit in the toy box. Time for the Christmas Grinch to steal toys!

I've been going through the house, bagging things for a Goodwill drop off, and his room was not spared. I aimed to take out as many things as he received. Some things that are leaving include a helicopter that alternated between playing the noises of chopping propellers and tinny music, some baby rattles, and a toy that was supposed to encourage tummy time but that really only got a month of use because it frustrated him when it rolled away and he couldn't crawl after it.

Keeping the house free of clutter and keeping the floor safe for a toddler is a never ending chore. Frequent trips to the Goodwill combined with an organized system of storage makes things easier to control. I wonder how long the Christmas Grinch can get away with "stealing" unneeded toys, and whether our son will eventually be able to pare down his collection on his own without too much fuss.

Christmas Gifts

Last year we didn't get any gifts for our then 2-month-old. He received plenty from grandparents, aunts, and uncles. And really, at that age, the gifts were for us. Who appreciates first Christmas ornaments and cute pajamas more than the parents?

This year, we've got a toddler, and even though he still doesn't know what Christmas is, we are thinking about building traditions that will last a lifetime. I would like Christmas gifts to be thoughtful and useful rather than stuff stuff stuff. I would like Christmas to be about joy, anticipation, and appreciation. I would like Christmas to ride the wave of gratitude that we get on Thanksgiving.

For fostering anticipation and appreciation, go to this post at the Frugal Girl blog. She suggests something she calls "strategic deprivation." Basically, meet the child's needs, but don't give them extras year round and then expect them to appreciate what they get for Christmas. Because being a good model is the best way to teach children positive behavior, I have also been practicing this for myself. About a month ago I ran out of the perfume I wear every day; instead of buying some for myself right away, I've done without and asked my husband for it for Christmas. This grants more meaning to something that is, after all, an extra. So, between our October birthdays and Christmas, no new extras unless they go under the tree!

We gave the topic some thought, and we've come up with this Christmas list for our little one: one very special pop-up book, a pair of pajamas, a warm hooded sweater, and dump truck that I know he will love. We'll see if we can maintain these categories for years to come: a special book, pajamas, something of good quality to wear, and a toy that he really really wants.

Holiday Decorations

We put up a tree and other holiday decorations this past Sunday, and I finally composted the mini pumpkin and gourd that he had been rolling around. Fall is over and the winter holiday season has officially started.

Every morning I take my little guy into the dining room to check out the tree. He brushes a few bulbs with his fingertips, he sticks his finger in the toothy mouth of the furry German nutcracker, and he pushes back and forth a toy car that his great-grand papi played with 80 years ago in France.

In the evenings, we turn on the lights (wrapped in the upper branches of the tree, out of his reach), and he lets out a little gasp and once again lightly caresses a few ornaments with his fingertips. We check the mail, open the cards and feel the glitter or embossing, and put them up on the mantel.

It will be so fun when our son can help make cards and cookies and is singing songs and talking about Santa. He won't even remember the little memories that we are making now. But I certainly cherish them.